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The Time Tunnel

December 26, 2018

 

 

I was scheduled to write a blog post for this group on December 25th. It didn’t happen. Why? Because I ran out of time.

 

I am always running out of time. What is up with that? 

 

I rarely waste time. I can tell you what I was doing last month, last Tuesday, and last year. My hours are always logged and documented. My goal is to have between 10 -12 hours of productivity every day. I know this is strange, but I am a Capicorn, and I enjoy being productive. It is what makes me meaningful to myself.

 

I am always with my nose at my sewing machine or in front of the computer working out the business end of things. I like this.

 

I am opposed to wasting time. If you are a time waster, you should be glad that you don’t live with me. I want all time wasters to give their time to me. I would make such good use of it. 

 

On the flip side of that. I see people who really enjoy their leisure time. They go on all day hikes, they make beautiful gifts, they are willing to do lunch. I am jealous of these people. Why am I not like that?

 

Still, I don’t get it all done. I am always up to the last minute.

 

How do people get things done ahead of time? I really wonder about this. I think that they either do less or get up earlier. I am willing to get up earlier, but am I willing to do less? 

 

That is the question I have been asking myself lately. What to say no to? I have the hardest time with that. Every opportunity sounds so interesting, so worthwhile.

 

So I say yes, and yes, and yes.

 

But then life morphs into what I have now. Which is the potentail for failure because I have said yes one too many times. I teeter on the brink of that—the cliff of overcommitting.

 

There are the tasks that must be done—laundry, children, bills. I usually can manage these commitments as they are known entities. They take time but they can be put in the schedule and planned for.

 

It is the interruptions and surprises that set me back—earthquakes, holidays, the dentist. They take time I wasn’t planning on giving. As in, I don’t have the time for that.

 

And then the end time arrives. These are the days right before whatever I said yes to must be completed. I think I will call this the time tunnel. When everything else falls away, and I must focus completely on the task at hand until it is completed. 

 

These are the times when I give up everything from taking a shower to checking my emails. 

 

I am currently in the time tunnel. I must complete ten new small pieces and have them in the mail by midnight on January 2nd. 

 

I like the time tunnel. I get to put the time I normally spend on my external life on pause, and hunker down to the meditative time of my studio. Life becomes all about what I want it to be about — my work.

 

And if I didn’t say yes to all these crazy things, I don’t think I would get the time tunnel, the time in the studio, the time for making work. 

 

Because the time for tasks, for leisure, for interruptions would expand to be all of my time, and I don’t want that. I want the time in the studio. So, I say yes, alot of the time.

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